Friday, August 29, 2008
Some gowns from Tan Yoong
Thanks Jon for the site! :) Just browsed through it and some designs were rather interesting :) Some of my favourites are:
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
lilies of the field
Our Plans and God's Plans
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os HillmanTuesday, August 26 2008
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
Have you ever heard of someone who spent years of preparation for one vocation only to end up doing something completely different? Perhaps this could be said of you. Quite often we have in our minds what we believe we want to do only to have a course correction. Often the course correction comes through a major crisis that forces us into an area that we would never have considered.
Such was the case for Samuel Morse. Born in 1791, Morse grew up desiring to be an artist, and he eventually became very talented and internationally known. However, it was difficult to make a living as an artist in America during that time. A series of crises further complicated his vocational desire when his wife died; then his mother and father also died soon after. He went to Europe to paint and reflect on his life. On his return trip aboard a ship, he was captivated by discussions at dinner about new experiments in electromagnetism. During that important occasion, Morse made the following comment, "If the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of the circuit, I see no reason why intelligence may not be transmitted by electricity." In the face of many difficulties and disappointments, he determinedly perfected a new invention, and, in 1837, applied for a patent that became what we know today as the telegraph. He also created Morse code. It was only later, after many more setbacks and disappointments, that his projects received funding.
Samuel Morse later commented, "The only gleam of hope, and I cannot underrate it, is from confidence in God. When I look upward it calms any apprehension for the future, and I seem to hear a voice saying: 'If I clothe the lilies of the field, shall I not also clothe you?' Here is my strong confidence, and I will wait patiently for the direction of Providence." Morse went on to create several other inventions and can be recognized today as the father of faxes, modems, e-mail, the internet and other electronic communication. ["Glimpses," Issue #99 (Worcester, Pennsylvania: Christian History Institute, 1998).]
God's plans may not always seem to follow our natural inclination. Perhaps God has you taking a path that may not lead to His ultimate destination for you. Trust in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in all you do, and He shall direct your path (see Prov. 3:5-6).
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os HillmanTuesday, August 26 2008
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
Have you ever heard of someone who spent years of preparation for one vocation only to end up doing something completely different? Perhaps this could be said of you. Quite often we have in our minds what we believe we want to do only to have a course correction. Often the course correction comes through a major crisis that forces us into an area that we would never have considered.
Such was the case for Samuel Morse. Born in 1791, Morse grew up desiring to be an artist, and he eventually became very talented and internationally known. However, it was difficult to make a living as an artist in America during that time. A series of crises further complicated his vocational desire when his wife died; then his mother and father also died soon after. He went to Europe to paint and reflect on his life. On his return trip aboard a ship, he was captivated by discussions at dinner about new experiments in electromagnetism. During that important occasion, Morse made the following comment, "If the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of the circuit, I see no reason why intelligence may not be transmitted by electricity." In the face of many difficulties and disappointments, he determinedly perfected a new invention, and, in 1837, applied for a patent that became what we know today as the telegraph. He also created Morse code. It was only later, after many more setbacks and disappointments, that his projects received funding.
Samuel Morse later commented, "The only gleam of hope, and I cannot underrate it, is from confidence in God. When I look upward it calms any apprehension for the future, and I seem to hear a voice saying: 'If I clothe the lilies of the field, shall I not also clothe you?' Here is my strong confidence, and I will wait patiently for the direction of Providence." Morse went on to create several other inventions and can be recognized today as the father of faxes, modems, e-mail, the internet and other electronic communication. ["Glimpses," Issue #99 (Worcester, Pennsylvania: Christian History Institute, 1998).]
God's plans may not always seem to follow our natural inclination. Perhaps God has you taking a path that may not lead to His ultimate destination for you. Trust in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in all you do, and He shall direct your path (see Prov. 3:5-6).
Saturday, August 23, 2008
And it has begun - the search for white dresses :)
Nothing much to post because no pictures were taken. And i reckon that i prolly won't take pictures and post it online too. Then it would be too boring on the actual day itself right? :)
First appointment today. I was feeling alittle apprehensive about trying on the gowns cos it seemed so real! And my goodness, the gowns were so long and heavy i couldn't find my legs to put them through. But it was beautiful :) And i'm excited for the next appointment :)
Three conclusions made:
1) I need to lose weight! Cut down on eating after 8pm! Hehehe.
2) I will keep my hair long (that's why i straightened it! so i won't get so irritated with it!)
3) Those movie moments where the fiance sees the bride in the gown for the first time... it really isn't true! :(
Amara Sanctuary Spa
After sending Cyrus & Elaine off last Saturday, sleepy head me went home for a nap while wonderful isaiah went to church for worship practice. It turned out that we were late for our 1230pm appointment with Amara @ Sentosa. We arrived an hour late.. but we tried calling the coordinator since 1230! Her reply only came at 1.30pm when we were there already, saying that she had to rush off. Determined to not make this a wasted trip, we asked the front desk manager for permission to tour the place.
God is good! The hospitable front desk manager agreed wholeheartedly. Not only did she bring us to the ballrooms, she brought us all around to the suites, etc. Talk about great service! :) If she was the wedding coordinator, we would have seriously considered Amara @ Sentosa!
The reception area
Pretty deco on the wall
God is good! The hospitable front desk manager agreed wholeheartedly. Not only did she bring us to the ballrooms, she brought us all around to the suites, etc. Talk about great service! :) If she was the wedding coordinator, we would have seriously considered Amara @ Sentosa!
The reception areaPretty deco on the wall
Amara Sanctuary Spa is a really beautiful place. Though it doesn't directly connect to the beach, it has this beautiful rustic-ness that comes from remaking the colonial buildings into beautiful suites. Remember Ritz Carlton, Bali? I dare say that its the closest we can get to that in Singapore! Beautiful!
Except for a few service staff though (especially not the lovely frontdesk manager), the service leaves much to be desired. I guess what made Isaiah said a complete no was the incident where we were walking out. A service staff was talking to his colleague at the door and as we approached them, they continued talking (and alittle staring)... and made no effort to open the door, even when the door was next to them! Oh well!
Anyway, to spend a nice afternoon at a nice restaurant, we tried the food there :)
Piping hot buns.. yummy!
served with unlimited supply of butter :)
Mocktail something!
Looking extremely tired and sleepy and grumpy
Isaiah's angel hair pasta with a generous serving a roe!
Prawn was grilled to perfection!
Hot favourite --> chempedek Crème brûlée
Water is good for you. Have a you drank enough today? :)
Except for a few service staff though (especially not the lovely frontdesk manager), the service leaves much to be desired. I guess what made Isaiah said a complete no was the incident where we were walking out. A service staff was talking to his colleague at the door and as we approached them, they continued talking (and alittle staring)... and made no effort to open the door, even when the door was next to them! Oh well!
Anyway, to spend a nice afternoon at a nice restaurant, we tried the food there :)
Piping hot buns.. yummy!served with unlimited supply of butter :)Mocktail something! Looking extremely tired and sleepy and grumpyIsaiah's angel hair pasta with a generous serving a roe!Prawn was grilled to perfection!
Hot favourite --> chempedek Crème brûléeWater is good for you. Have a you drank enough today? :)
Ooh lala! :)
Friday, August 22, 2008
Full & Blessed!
Small updates! :) Many pictures, hotels, etc to share but no time yet :) Something small to keep this going! Four Seasons treated us to a great meal (thanks Regina!). And it rocks big time! Tell u more laters!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wedding Photographers - The second list
Thanks for your comments! Hi Marilyn! long time no see! =)
btw its isaiah here =p
saw some other photographers that are good too!
1950s
lighted pixels
tiny dot photography
like these 3 too!
btw its isaiah here =p
saw some other photographers that are good too!
1950s
lighted pixels
tiny dot photography
like these 3 too!
Wedding Photographer - The first list
We need collective wisdom haha....
3 photographers below, help us choose which you think is best!
OneEyeClick
Tri-Angles
O-Studios
3 photographers below, help us choose which you think is best!
OneEyeClick
Tri-Angles
O-Studios
If you are having trouble with your bosses...
Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.
1 Timothy 2:2
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
PM's dating tips :)
'We may not have instant sparks the first time. But you take your time, discover the person for who he or she is, nurture the relationship, and then maybe love may blossom,' said PM Lee. -- PHOTO: ZAOBAO
'We may not have instant sparks the first time. But you take your time, discover the person for who he or she is, nurture the relationship, and then maybe love may blossom,' said PM Lee.
Jeremiah 31
1 "At that time," declares the LORD, "I will be the God of all the clans of Israel, and they will be my people."
2 This is what the LORD says:
"The people who survive the sword
will find favor in the desert;
I will come to give rest to Israel."
3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
4 I will build you up again
and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
Again you will take up your tambourines
and go out to dance with the joyful.
5 Again you will plant vineyards
on the hills of Samaria;
the farmers will plant them
and enjoy their fruit.
6 There will be a day when watchmen cry out
on the hills of Ephraim,
'Come, let us go up to Zion,
to the LORD our God.' "
7 This is what the LORD says:
"Sing with joy for Jacob;
shout for the foremost of the nations.
Make your praises heard, and say,
'O LORD, save your people,
the remnant of Israel.'
2 This is what the LORD says:
"The people who survive the sword
will find favor in the desert;
I will come to give rest to Israel."
3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
4 I will build you up again
and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
Again you will take up your tambourines
and go out to dance with the joyful.
5 Again you will plant vineyards
on the hills of Samaria;
the farmers will plant them
and enjoy their fruit.
6 There will be a day when watchmen cry out
on the hills of Ephraim,
'Come, let us go up to Zion,
to the LORD our God.' "
7 This is what the LORD says:
"Sing with joy for Jacob;
shout for the foremost of the nations.
Make your praises heard, and say,
'O LORD, save your people,
the remnant of Israel.'
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Bridesmaid Ideas
Some ideas lifted from the magazine. I like the cut of the one on the far left (with the blue sparkle). Alittle simple, but the dress can still be used for other things! And the one with the pink sparkle just looks nice & elegant.
Hee hee :) So fun!Friday, August 15, 2008
A Good Reminder :)
Proverbs 16
1 We can make our own plans,but the Lord gives the right answer.
2 People may be pure in their own eyes,
but the Lord examines their motives.
3 Commit your actions to the Lord,
and your plans will succeed.
4 The Lord has made everything for his own purposes,and your plans will succeed.
even the wicked for a day of disaster.
5 The Lord detests the proud;
they will surely be punished.
6 Unfailing love and faithfulness make atonement for sin.
By fearing the Lord, people avoid evil.
7 When people’s lives please the Lord,
even their enemies are at peace with them.
even their enemies are at peace with them.
8 Better to have little, with godliness,
than to be rich and dishonest.
9 We can make our plans,than to be rich and dishonest.
but the Lord determines our steps.
10 The king speaks with divine wisdom;
he must never judge unfairly.
11 The Lord demands accurate scales and balances;
he sets the standards for fairness.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job%2034%E2%80%9336;%20Proverbs%2016:1-11;&version=51;
Thursday, August 14, 2008
God is faithful!
Thank you God, for Your undeserved grace and favour....unbelievable favour!
What can i do or say in return? God is good all the time, and all the time He is good!
What can i do or say in return? God is good all the time, and all the time He is good!
An almost finalized decision :)
Amara Sanctuary SpaI think we are finally there :) We have pretty much decided on Four Seasons Hotel. The ballroom is kinda small, but its cosy and you don't have to worry about being left out at a corner of the ballroom.
The last time we went there.. the wedding that was going on had many additional decorations. I wonder if we could do it too. Don't think its too hard.. butterflies, flowers.. maybe an additional of a hundred or two? We need help. *hint hint
But since Amara Santuary Spa replied, we thought we might just as well pop in for a look. Yes, back to the Sentosa plan. However, we figured that we will stick with Four seasons. Inputs people? :)
Four Seasons HotelTuesday, August 12, 2008
Life and How to Survive It
My friend (sharon) sent me this article. A few lines really stand out, i enjoyed this article. although i must put the disclaimer that i don't agree with everything! but the message is a good one =)
Tell the truth IN LOVE!
one instance: please, always tell the truth (in Love!). He's right about not just blurting it out, but be honest to build up the other person when speaking in love!
Work for Your Passion
And there's value in all work. but don't work for money. don't be "rational" and work cos it will pay the bills!
Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men - Proverbs 22:20
Do what you enjoy, and become really good at it. You will end up before people of position, working at the top, not the bottom!
Sometimes we get a bad boss, leader, manager (whatever)...that's the time to learn humility and learn that life doesn't always swing your way! Eat the humble pie and work at your best, and if it is not meant to be, God will open the way for us to move to where He wants us to be!
Be Faithful
I always believe that unless we are faithful and doing the best where we are, we will remain there till we learn that lesson!! So i can't and shouldn't keep complaining about my job for example! just to bow my head and do my best and be a faithful worker where God placed me!
Quoting Rachel: "God put me here, so there must be a reason why I am here"!Don't forget, we are not survivors! NO! we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS!
--------------
The author of The Teenage Textbook (1988) - Adrian Tan, was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
Life and How to Survive It
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.
You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they’re wrong.
The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.
I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.
It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.
Tell the truth IN LOVE!
one instance: please, always tell the truth (in Love!). He's right about not just blurting it out, but be honest to build up the other person when speaking in love!
Work for Your Passion
And there's value in all work. but don't work for money. don't be "rational" and work cos it will pay the bills!
Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men - Proverbs 22:20
Do what you enjoy, and become really good at it. You will end up before people of position, working at the top, not the bottom!
Sometimes we get a bad boss, leader, manager (whatever)...that's the time to learn humility and learn that life doesn't always swing your way! Eat the humble pie and work at your best, and if it is not meant to be, God will open the way for us to move to where He wants us to be!
Be Faithful
I always believe that unless we are faithful and doing the best where we are, we will remain there till we learn that lesson!! So i can't and shouldn't keep complaining about my job for example! just to bow my head and do my best and be a faithful worker where God placed me!
Quoting Rachel: "God put me here, so there must be a reason why I am here"!Don't forget, we are not survivors! NO! we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS!
--------------
The author of The Teenage Textbook (1988) - Adrian Tan, was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
Life and How to Survive It
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.
You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they’re wrong.
The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.
I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.
It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.
Four Seasons Hotel (II)
Sorry the photos are so small! but i put my camera on the wrong setting! but its a nice place right =)
Sunday, August 10, 2008
2 Chronicles 7:14
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
Four Seasons Hotel - Will this be it?
we checked out Four Seasons on saturday. overall, i must say it is a nice place =)
if there are available dates then we will probably book it! haha been to so many places liaoz! last one is amara sanctuary on Sentosa...then we can decide liao!
if there are available dates then we will probably book it! haha been to so many places liaoz! last one is amara sanctuary on Sentosa...then we can decide liao!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
wise stewards....
been thinking about doing some long-term investment plans...
few factors you want to consider:
did a quick search and filtered on 3 factors:
so now i add a new investment strategy...i'm going to PRAY!
Deut 8:18 - But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.
Wealth is from God, and we must remember to honour God with what He has and will bless us with!
so SPH or Starhub? or both? hmm.....
few factors you want to consider:
- what's your time horizon
- how much initial capital do you have
- your risk appetite
- dividend play vs. price-return
did a quick search and filtered on 3 factors:
- total market value/market capitalisation must be greater than S$500 million i.e. that's how much the investing public thinks the company is worth. S$500MM is a medium to large company in Singapore e.g. SIA or Singtel and most of the REITs e.g. CapitaMall
- high dividend yield of more than 5%..that's much better than any bank will pay!
- must be an STI stock. these are a list of the 30 largest and most representative stocks of the Singapore market.
- SIA
- SGX
- Thai Beverage
- Starhub
- NOL
- Singapore Press Holdings
- SPH
- Starhub
- Thai Beverage
so now i add a new investment strategy...i'm going to PRAY!
Deut 8:18 - But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.
Wealth is from God, and we must remember to honour God with what He has and will bless us with!
so SPH or Starhub? or both? hmm.....
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
love is in the small things...
You know you are dearly loved when he gives you his only chocolate from overseas... shaped in a spoon :)
You know you are dearly loved when he gets up earlier than usual so he can buy you your favourite breakfast before sending you to work :)
You know you are dearly loved when your daddy wakes up before 6am to prepare such a yummilicious breakfast so that you will have a good start to your day :)
You know you are dearly loved when Mummy buys you jelly hearts all the way from her office :)
You know that you are dearly loved when your sister wakes up at 6.30am just to do a favour for you :)
You know you are dearly loved whenever you think of your grandparents, you get a nice, warm and fuzzy feeling inside you :)Thank God for my family.
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