Love & Sex

//Having a healthy sexual culture//

"The reason we have a sex drive long before we are meant to have sex is so that on the night of your honeymoon you have something precious you fought to on hold to from the battlefield to the bedroom, to give to your lover on the night of your wedding. Everyone can give a gift but only those who recognise the value of sacrifice can give something precious" (paraphrasing Kris Valloton)

We live in a culture that celebrates sex but not love. Why? Because love, like truth, by definition, requires exclusivity. Saying something is true necessarily means that something else isn't true. Likewise to truly love someone is to mean to not love others in that same passion. 

I can love ice cream but surely I cannot mean I love it the way I love my wife and my children. 

Here are some thoughts on the subject:

1. God invented sex and celebrates it because He designed marriage. He even defines His Son's relationship with the church as that of bride and groom.

2. Your virginity is precious because it is a gift that only you can give each other on your wedding night that is not repeatable or replaceable. You can buy another diamond ring but you can't give yourself away like that ever again. 

3. In marriage, sex is about pleasing one another and not just yourself. Apart from marriage, sex is always about pleasing yourself.

4. You never have to fear comparison or performance in your sexual life if it's protected by marriage because you become each other's object of affection. 

5. You don't have to worry about waking up alone because you know it isn't just sex that is keeping your partner with you. If you use sex to keep your dating relationship and hope it baits you a marriage, you will always have to live that way even in marriage. 

6. If a guy pressures a girl into sex it is because he loves himself more than he does you. You are worth the wait - there is someone who values you that much. 

7. People will always try to devalue and demean things that they can't have. They can't have your purity so they want to force you to give it away so that you can be just like them. But it's a lie because you have something to give that they've lost and it's envy on their side, not shame on yours. 

8. When you are cohabiting, you are in it for what you can get. Marriage is about what you can give. People don't want to commit to the ring because they use it as a tool to manipulate and control you. They use the fear of them leaving you to control you. 

9. In marriage and every covenant, it is marked by blood. Just like the marriage act on the night of your wedding, you mark it by the blood of your virginity and your children that come from this relationship have already been covered by the blood of covenant. 

10. Sex creates a bond deeper than the physical. It creates a soul tie between the two partners that is powerful, even spiritual. Outside of marriage these soul ties become the bondages that continue to hurt and follow you. A piece of soul is exchanged. Keep it for marriage!

11. God wants you to be a great partner and lover and to have one as well! 

#sex #marriage #jesus #love