I'll try harder always

I used to read about mothers who spent their days screaming at their kids and I wonder, seriously? These women must be really hot tempered.

When I say 'I used to', I mean a couple of months ago. In just a space of months, my little girl has grown into a toddler who constantly tests her limits, takes joy in going against my wishes and goes into tantrum mode, well, maybe a few times a day. To say that it's tiring would be an understatement. Recently I find myself talking exceptionally loudly to her more often than i would like. I really used to smile more. Little S has been going, 'Mummy, not angry anymore?' too often.

It has been tough, juggling between two kids who need my attention equally much. I wish I had more time to do some/more home learning with the little girl. She loves going through cards, reading together and most of all, to share a cuddle and a laugh. I wish I had more time to coo and play peek a boo with the small boy. I'm sure I spent more time with his sister at his age. '

*mom guilt overload*

I like to give myself plenty of space and reason so I've been telling myself that everything needs time to adjust blah blah blah. I decided today that I had enough of the reasons and it's time to pull up my socks and make use of every conceivable moment to thoroughly enjoy my time spent with them. Be it learning with little S or attempting to give more cuddles to the small boy who has taken a recent obsession for being held all day.

This means more smiles and less frowns. More cuddles and less hand smacking. And more importantly, more love and patience. More prayers too for all of the above.

It's a learning curve for me too, and I promise my dear ones, that I'll try harder always.