Hello 2014!

Hello 2014!

I just received wonderful news about a result we have been waiting for for some time. And that's such a great relief. Please, everyone, heave a big sigh of relief on our behalf. That's how happy we are.

Sometimes we make such a big deal about how much control we have in our life. We want to make choices, we fight for our rights and we demand for things we do not have. Not that it is always wrong to demand and that we should just go with the flow with everything, but first and foremost, we need to be very certain who is the giver of life in the first place. The one who created the universe, who understands the deep physics of it all and yet loves us enough to send His son to die on the cross for our sins. Jesus died so that you and I can have a chance, a chance to be in heaven and a chance to experience heaven on earth.

I'm just thinking about how fragile life is. What an oxymoron as to how this post started out. I'm typing this post because I want to document how glad I am with the results, yet at the same time, i feel like i'm holding on to shreds of happiness. Why shreds? Because I'm beginning to understand that the fragility of life is like a weak twig - a phone call, a bad fall, an unexpected lump... and everything you think was perfect falls apart.

As depressing as that thought is, I personally find it kinda empowering and releasing. Finally, I'm beginning to understand that as much as i can make choices for my life.. it is the God that holds my tomorrow that hold me in His bosom to protect and nurture. It is the same God that will watch me and my family. The God that loves me more than I can imagine.

Isaiah once asked if I was scared of dying. It was a no-brainer. I was. Alittle terrified to be honest. Afraid to make my dear ones sad, afraid to not see the little ones grow up and experience life with them and afraid of what's gonna happen after and if I really have a place in heaven (now we know that we do if we believe but i'm gonna be honest and say yes). I used to think that I'm young, healthy and fit. These days though, i find myself praying that God grant me the honour to grow old, to enjoy old age together with Isaiah and my family. My treasure is turning into happy times with my loved ones. I'm beginning to see long days on earth as a blessing from God.

I have no idea how to end this post. I'm still deliriously happy about the results and I'm still the old human me, filled with fears. But i know God is faithful and righteous and He holds our life in His palms. My prayer for you and I is to live this one life with no regrets, to be brave enough to do the right things that matter and make a difference where ever you are. It's only the beginning of 2014, it's not too late to start it right. Our prayers are with you!

Ascribe Greatness to our God the rock
His work is perfect
And all His ways are just 

A God of faithfulness
Without injustice 
Good and upright is He

Why I'm doing this

Today was a toughie. A majority of the day was spent battling milk, noodles, toys, baby and toddler. It's one of those days I get dizzy just wandering around my very small flat, trying to get things into order. I think I had to seriously talk myself out of just giving it all up and plopping down infront of the telly with a very cold green tea in my hands - which i did, at 8pm - twice.

Still, I know I have come rather far in this motherhood journey - much more to learn though! Just a couple of years ago, with a baby girl in my arms, I could barely fix myself a decent lunch. With her permanently latched on, I would searched google like a madwoman, trying to read up on everything concerning breastfeeding and babies. Then, i would look to my husband as my hero when he returned from work and my mortal enemy when he left for work the next morning. Today, I can manage breakfast, lunch and most things a toddler needs to thrive. The only thing is that I usually look like a mad crazy woman when my husband returns from work. You know how some articles say that wives need to doll up for their husbands? Pffffft. That's lala land.

That being said, I very much love my day cum night cum 24/7 job. I love how there's no boundaries between my job and my personal life and that I get to see my munchkins all the time. And that I can wear my PJs all day. But really, I wouldn't have come this far without God and my faithful momsy friends who are there for me each time I think the going gets too tough. It really must be some Godly intervention to arrange for like minded friends to walk through this journey with me.

The first mumsy blog I read was one ranting about her difficulties in breastfeeding. That brought me so much comfort, to know that there are other mothers there who are having a hard time with this breastfeeding and parenting gig. For many days after, I would religiously go through the blog, often laughing and loud and finding much comfort in this one sided relationship (ha!).

With this blog, I really hope document my journey with the children - to have something to read and look back on in fondness when the house grows quiet and the teenage angst and empty nest set in. In reading this, I hope that they will know how fun (fingers crossed) their childhood was and above all, how very much they are loved.

So here goes! Meanwhile, I'm ending with some pictures of food because I'm really hungry now. And its 2.30am, so randomness is allowed.

It's been awhile

It has really been sometime since anything has happened here, an exact opposite of what has been happening in our lives and the first thing I needa shout out is - THANK GOD FOR HIS BLESSINGS!

I've been thinking for a really long time about this blogging thing, about sharing my life with the world at large, and about having an avenue for memories to be stored. Physical diaries aside (where we store our secrets uhhuh), I would like the kids to read about how cool mom and dad are. And how their childhood was like. So well, I would really want to say something exciting like, 'something's brewing!' or 'stay tune for exciting changes!!' #throwspompomstotheceilingfan. But the truth is, all that has been brewing, has been in my mind for ages - blogging more, updating the layout, yada yada. I just need to find time to do it and be a SUPERMOM! I guess i shall just leave it as - I hope more posts will come!

Meanwhile, some photos from a not so recent trip to Perth :)

Celebrating Mothers

I recently attended an event which saluted a group of one hundred mums in their participation for a future technology related project. By the sound of that, one would expect that the mums involved would mostly be young, hip and beautiful. In actual fact, they came from all walks of life. The working mothers, the SAHMs, those doing part time work and juggling childcare, and so on. But they were all beautiful indeed.

As I watched each of them walk up the stage to collect their token of appreciation, a thought struck me. All these ladies were mothers and all of them were going through similar struggles (and lots of joy) that I'm going through. I was awe struck and humbled by this simple fact: no matter how they look on the outside, all these mothers all share a strong love for their child and a deep desire to see them grow well.

Allow me to explain further. There was a mum who was dressed a little like a manga character. She had her hair dyed in a bright colour and her choice of clothes was pretty interesting. Without sounding too presumptuous, I believe many wouldn't have expect her to be a mum. But she is one indeed. The impeccably lady next to me spotted a huge diamond ring and an air of importance about her. She might be some big shot in a company, but she's still a mom. And of course we have the ones who were dressed casually or those who like myself, the one arm bandits (the other hand holds the child). Though vastly different, we were all mothers.

I used to think myself as rather sacrificial for choosing to take care of little S. This event however, has taught me that I'm not alone in this journey, and there's really no reason to go about sticking my nose in the air and act all important and awesome. Some mothers choose to balance their jobs and family for whatever reasons. And I salute them, because it's not easy; in fact I find it terrifyingly hard. Some found other arrangements that best suit them. Whatever jobs these mothers hold, whatever arrangements they have, in many ways more than one, I believe they make sacrifices everyday. All for the love of their children.

This year I celebrate my very first Mothers' Day. This time last year I was spotting an incredibly fashionable bump and experienced my first hyperventilation from work. This year, I'm blessed to be able to enjoy a nice afternoon waffle and pen this down (all with one hand). But physical changes aside, I have also matured. I've come to learn that we are all indeed more similar than what i initially thought. Mothers for one, are united by the love for their children. The things that I use to hold in high regard all these years all pale in comparison to this simple, yet astounding fact.

My mummy would insist we do nothing because it's all a commercial gimmick. But I take Mothers' Day very seriously, more so now as a Mum. We should go about thanking our mums and showering them with love everyday. And even more so on Mothers' Day, just because. No reason needed to sprinkle the little extra love.

This Mothers' Day I salute all mothers. For their love and sacrifice that I can't find the right words to aptly describe. But especially so, i salute my own mum, for being my inspiration, my role model and my constant pillar of support.

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:8 NIV84)

Enjoying now

So my sister bought herself an iPad with her first ever official salary. And that makes all of us so jealous, even little Shanah who couldn't keep her eyes and hands off the shiny and glittering smooth screen. She tried so hard to be part of the party, crawling and reaching out, standing on my legs, pulling my hair, just to get closer to the new woohoo.

A couple of thoughts ran through my head including an attempt to sound and feel intellectual by stating the different world our kids today are growing up in. But one thought stood out clear - my little girl's growing up. She's not going to crawl and globber over me for the new stuff all the time. One say she's gonna demand her own stuff and want to play them by herself. And pretty soon she'll be earning her own keep to buy her own stuff.

Getting alittle ahead of myself I know. But really these little fingers aren't gonna be small and chubby for long. Those cute cheeks and tummy will one day make its way for a ravishing young lady. I don't think I'll ever see her that way, she'll always be my little baby.

Be still my racing heart.

Have to treasure the moments. Trying to. Even the difficult ones that contain mainly screaming and whining. I love how she wants me. Still.

Worrier's worry woes

As much as I hate to admit it. I have evolved to be a worrier. I wish I can evolve myself back to the happy go lucky self of yesteryears where I should worry more for my term papers to do better in it. Then I go about worrying that I'm a worrier and that adds on to more worries. In fact, i worry that there's nothing to worry about because I might miss something in the process.

Slightly nuts. But being a parent, I want nothing but the best for my child and maybe one of the negative side effect for me would be this. Which is bad because it stops me from enjoying each fun time to its fullest. When I'm watching my little girl crawl in glee and speed, the back of my kind goes into worry mode. Sometimes i don't even know what I'm worried about.

So well I'm kinda sick of this something-might-be-wrong feeling. I figured if little S is not gaining enough weight, it's time to tackle the problem face on. If its about her school, then I should get started into the kiasu parents mode and start searching for one. And its about my future prospects as a SAHM, then I should just give it a try, either way. Cos worrying doesn't help.

But for my emotional and mental health, I should just admit that i'm one silly worrier and then quit being one. Just quit. Darn those silly hormones that never seem to go back to their pre-pregnancy stage.

The guys who coined the phrase Just Do It were wise. Just quit it worrying and start living! Quit it quit it quit it.

'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34

thinking of quitting your job?

Something worth reading to spur you on:

My three bits of advice to avoid ending up in a career disaster zone like me | News | www.eFinancialCareers.dk

GUEST COMMENT: My three bits of advice to avoid ending up in a career disaster zone like me

by Anonymous 14 September 2011

I’m looking for a new job. Over the past year I’ve met recruiters, spoken to friends and trawled the web to no avail. Here are the three big mistakes which I’ve made and you should avoid:
1) Avoid stagnating in the same firm
Now that I’ve been working (hard!) for almost five years in the same company, it should not have been too difficult to get a job offer. But alas, I have not even gone to a single interview.
Why? Well, because what I have done over the past five years has added little value to where I want to be. This is especially so in the current “middle child” phase of my career – I’m either too junior or too experienced for the roles that would get me ahead. I either take a plunge in salary and start from the bottom, or stay until the next recession knocks everyone around like a game of musical chairs.
2) Everything you do must boost your resume
In hindsight, this one seems so obvious. But in five years, I never paid attention to my CV. You must ask yourself everyday whether the things you do at work are actually doing anything to add value to your resume, in case you find yourself in the job market.
3) Be a fisherman, not a fish
I have met several recruiters recently. I’m not out to dish dirt on them, but I wonder whether I am the one casting for jobs, or if I am the one on the hook.
After talking to one particular recruiter, I keep getting forwarded emails from colleagues who have received a one-line email from him about how this particular job would be up their street. But more often than not, these positions are not even in the same field as the recipient.
If that’s the way that recruiters get contacts, I wonder whether that’s how they treat resumes coming their way. Perhaps they just throw them up in the wind, with many landing in the reject bin. I would have expected some greater pride in their job. It is important, therefore, to find a recruiter who doesn’t treat you like a fish.
So, here I am, still on that quest for the promised land of a better job. Will I find it soon? I’m not quite sure. But I’m taking what I’ve learnt and I’m trying to do things differently now. If I get there, I’ll let you know.

Blessed Christmas!

Another Christmas, but every one has it's own special memories.

It was a mad rush this year again. Had to get ready for the office Christmas lunch & I realised I forgot to take pictures! Managed to sneak in one round of table tennis and then had to rush off to meet Matz@Nex to complete part 2 of the Christmas shopping! (In case you wonder, part 1 was in Europe!). Then it was off to Rivervale Mall.

And after a mad speeding rush, it was off to Church to get ready for Caroling, leave Matz at home to wrap the mountain of presents! She was exhausted after that! Thanks Dear! :)

Caroling was awesomely great this year - a different Spirit in the air! And thank God for His miracle. It started drizzling, but somehow in the midst of that God provided a rainbow to remind us of His faithfulness and the rain stopped!

Everything was really raw at the caroling, but it was honest, heart-felted service from people who genuinely love God - youth and adults, different services coming together to bless the Sin Ming community, and hopefully for many to hear about Jesus! In fact one of the dialect service brothers shared that one of the residents might come to visit us this sunday! PTL! Many thanks for all those who contributed: JW, Huijun, Christine, Caiqing....and to all who came - you were a blessing!

Then once caroling was done, it was the mini-makan organised by Aunty Farren. Good time of fellowship and food. Somehow, the beehoon was particularly outstanding! Ultra-fragrant! Yummy! Haha!

As if that was not enough, we still had a Christmas Youth Service, it's something special and kudos to Isaac and Joy! Perhaps the greatest gift on Christmas day is knowing and loving Jesus all over again :) It was great to see so many and some especially who haven't come in a long while :) There's nothing better to celebrate Jesus than being with Him in His house :)

My goodness the list is long! After service we had the Z2 gift exchange organised by Shalom. I think it was something well-needed. You can give something without loving, but you can't love someone without giving! Regardless of how it's done, I think everyone still wants to receive something for Christmas - I know I do! :):)

Then then...the Midnite Madness Supper Run began! Jalan Kayu, Boon Lay, Geylang. Of course I skipped the Boon Lay :P

But nothing compares to playing Lan at 5 AM in the morning!! Darn we lost but nevermind! I got my membership card, so we better play again!! :)

Then finally after sending them home it was 645am and time for a nap! I say nap cos I couldn't possibly sleep till late - so much more for today to do! Hehe breakfast was Famous Amos cookies with Matz :)

All in all, it was a great day, but nothing greater than knowing we tried to use every possible opportunity to share about You Jesus :) You're the reason for everything and my prayer before this day ends is for more lost souls to receive the gift of You today, in every Church, every outreach, every single opportunity.

We love You, Jesus :)