seventh heaven

i've always had this question asked - how do you know if someone's the right one?

i've read lots and lots of books before i actually ever had a girlfriend (ie Matz) so i'll share some theory first.

basically these books talk about being able to connect at several levels of human interaction. you have to be able to connect:

1. physically, in the sense of physical attraction to each other
2. socially as friends e.g. hobbies and interest and similar social circles
3. intellectually e.g. connect on similar topics of discussions
4. emotionally, being able to connect on a heart-to-heart level
5. spiritually/values - having similar religious views and similar values in life

looking at this, most people tend to start a relationship on level 1 (only God looks at the heart, we can only see the outside first!=p). then as the high days of "I swear i'll die for you..." fade, people struggle with the "I don't feel it anymore". if those that can make it through this stage, they go on to the "we've been together so long liao....", they won't even know what to do if they were not together.

so that's Part 1.

but somehow i think the answer really starts with level 5 first. and i'll tell you where i learnt this - TV!!

long time ago there was this lovely show about a pastor and his HUGE family - Seventh Heaven. great show...so anyway if i remember, one of his son's was getting married and they feared that the future daughter-in-law wasn't really sure if this was the one.

so she asked the pastor - "How do you know if someone's the "ONE?". the pastor looked at her and took off his wedding band. on it, many years ago, they both engraved this on their rings - " You make me a better person".

that i think, is the answer. i remember a pastor saying "Marriage is not about your own happiness, but about helping each other become more like our Saviour, Jesus Christ" and in a simpler context - just becoming a better person than the one we were before the relationship.

it changes you (if you let it). you learn to think for 2 and not just yourself all the time. you learn the meaning of sacrifice, for no other reason that your partner's happiness. you learn that letting go of your own personal dreams and ambitions, allows you both the chance to build something even better, together.

that inscription is going on our wedding bands "You make me a better person" =)